


Baby

by F2of95line



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Post-Break Up, Single Parent Yuta, Taeyong being an asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-07 15:23:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15222089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F2of95line/pseuds/F2of95line
Summary: Lee Taeyong runs into Nakamoto Yuta, a blast from his past, but what shocks him isn't Yuta himself.It's the tiny boy that Yuta holds and Taeyong soon realizes what he's missed all these years ago.





	1. Past

**Author's Note:**

> All right, back to my weird old angsty self. Lol I don't even know where this came from but I feel like it's the most common angst trope lol

“Ouch!”

Taeyong blinked and turned around to see a tiny boy collide face first with the back of his long legs. He had to fight a grin when he saw the small boy clamber up and brush himself off.

“S- Sorry, Mister!” the boy said, looking up to meet wide, dark eyes with Taeyong. Taeyong blinked.

Wow, kids were really polite these days.

“It’s okay,” he squatted down. “You okay, kid?”

“Y- Yes,” the boy said shyly, looking down and sucking his tiny fist.

Taeyong couldn’t stop the smile this time. Not only was this kid polite, he was cute too. He kind of reminded Taeyong of himself when he was younger, looks included.

“Here you go,” he brushed off the remaining dust from the boy’s Iron Man T-shirt. “What are you doing in the park all alone?”

“I’m not alone!” he shook his head, popping his fist out of his mouth. “My Papa is with me! He-!”

“Na Jaemin!”

The boy and Taeyong looked up to see a beautiful man huffing as he ran to catch up with his son. “What did I tell you about running off without Papa?! Now, what do you say to the nice ma-?”

The man’s voice caught in his throat as he stared at Taeyong, who had a similar look of stun on his face.

“…Yuta?” Taeyong managed to say and the Japanese man swallowed before reaching out for his son.

“Jaemin-ah!” he said, voice slightly panicked. “Come to Papa!”

Jaemin toddled behind his Papa and shyly peeked out from behind his legs. Taeyong suddenly realized that Jaemin really did look like him. He looked a _lot_ like himself.

He looked up to see Yuta bowing to him in greeting.

“H- Hello, Taeyong-sshi!” the Japanese man smiled tentatively. “Um… how are you!?”

“…fine,” Taeyong responded. “I… I didn’t know you were still in Korea. I thought you were in Japan.”

“Oh, um I was, but… wait… how did you know that?” Yuta looked at him weirdly, and Taeyong inwardly cursed, but Yuta’s expression just relaxed before he could come up with an excuse. “Well, either way, yes, I did leave but I came back recently.”

“…oh,” Taeyong said dumbly, unsure what to say next. Finally, Yuta bowed again.

“Well… I’ll see you later.”

And with that, he grasped his son’s hand and swiftly left the park, not noticing Taeyong’s eyes fixated on him as he left.

* * *

_“Wow, Taeyong…” 20-year-old Nakamoto Yuta breathed as he gazed around the luxurious restaurant. “When you asked me to meet you here, I didn’t think this place would be this fancy.”_

_Taeyong didn’t answer, sullenly sipping his wine. Yuta tried to smile brightly._

_“Honestly, I was getting worried… don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been neglecting me for the past few weeks,” he teased, and Taeyong continued to drink, looking like he wanted to drown himself in his wineglass._

_Yuta swallowed before taking a deep breath._

_“I have something important to say.”_

_“I do too.”_

_Yuta smiled gently, face aglow from the candlelight of the romantic dinner they were at. “Okay, do you want to go first?”_

_“You… You can go ahead,” Taeyong looked away, and Yuta bit his lower lip._

_“I… I know we agreed we wouldn’t take things seriously. I mean, I know we agreed it would only be sex, but after all this time, I know how I feel. I… love you, Lee Taeyong.”_

_The Korean man stared, unblinking and Yuta blushed, looking down at his hands._

_“…well,” Yuta finally spoke up hopefully after Taeyong didn’t say anything. “…say something…?”_

_“I…” Taeyong hesitated before taking a sip of liquid courage and looking up. “I think we should start seeing other people.”_

_Yuta’s eyes widened, pupils trembling. “You… You want to…?”_

_“I want to stop this,” Taeyong indicated between the two of them. “I know we agreed to be fuck buddies, but I’m tired of it. I’m getting tired of you.”_

_Yuta felt his heart break at the cold way Taeyong had just broken his heart. Had it really… really all been a lie?_

_Yuta realized his biggest fear had come true; he had been terrified that he had been the only one of the two of them falling in love and it looked like that was indeed true. Taeyong hadn’t really meant it when they cuddled together, or exchanged lazy kisses with the sunlight and cool breeze streaming in through the window._

_Their vacation to Okinawa together apparently hadn’t meant anything, even though that trip was the cause of Yuta’s world flipping on its axis._

_Yuta knew he couldn’t say nothing and inhaled before gathering his courage._

_“I can understand if you think you need some time, but I… I don’t just give my feelings to anybody, you know. I… I can be better.”_

_He looked at the Korean man pleadingly and Taeyong’s eyes flashed with multiple emotions, before Taeyong turned away with a snort._

_“You’re so delusional.”_

_And with that, he placed several bills on the table before leaving the restaurant, leaving behind a heartbroken Yuta, who gazed at the ultrasound photo under the table, before crumpling it and letting it drop to the floor, a tear sliding down his cheek._

* * *

Taeyong was jolted from his memories by his secretary paging him on his phone.

“Lee-sajang, the CEO of EXO is on Line 3,” Joohyun announced and he wearily nodded before pressing the ‘Answer’ button.

“ _Taeyong-ah_!”

Taeyong flipped through several documents as he raised his voice towards the speakerphone. “Hi, Jongin-hyung. What’s happening?”

 _“It’s been so long!”_ the handsome CEO of EXO Industries greeted excitedly. _“How’ve you been?!”_

“Good, thanks, Hyung,” Taeyong smiled. He had missed his older friend. “How was Japan?”

 _“Amazing,”_ Kim Jongin responded dreamily. _“Taeyong-ah… I’m in love.”_

Taeyong fumbled and dropped his pen, unable to stop a small sound of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyung? Weren’t you the one who said you were never settling down?”

 _“He’s worth it,”_ Jongin’s voice was eager. _“Seriously, Taeyong-ah, when are you free? I want you two to meet. He’s the kindest, most beautiful-”_

Jongin continued to chatter as someone knocked on Taeyong’s door.

“Lee-sajang, the investors from Singapore are here,” Joohyun whispered and Taeyong nodded.

“Listen, Jongin-hyung,” he said hastily, cutting off his friend’s lovesick ramble. “That sounds great, I’ll message you after work.”

_“Okay, see you then!”_

* * *

Taeyong knew, it was too good, _too easy of a coincidence_. For fucks sake, how was it seriously possible-?

“Taeyong-ah, this is Yuta!” Jongin said proudly, arm wrapped around the beautiful Japanese man, not noticing Yuta’s horror-stricken expression. Taeyong had to do everything in his control to not punch Jongin away from Yuta, and took a deep breath.

“…hello again, Yuta.”

“H- Hello,” Yuta’s accent slipped out from nervousness and Jongin’s eyes went wide.

“Wait, you two _know_ each other?!”

-

_“T- Taeyong…! Ahhh…!”_

_“God, you’re so warm and tight…! I’m going to-!”_

_Yuta gasped, arching wildly. “Almost, almost…!”_

_“You’re fucking beautiful… don’t you fucking dare let anyone else see you like this…”_

_“Yours, only yours…!”_

_Taeyong passionately kissed the writhing man under him, watching in deep satisfaction as Yuta unraveled, in his arms, eyes teary and loving._

-

“Uh… we’ve met,” Taeyong managed out, before sitting at the lavish table for three. A server came up to them, holding a wine list, and Jongin easily intercepted.

“We’ll have the most expensive champagne!” he announced, and Yuta’s eyes widened.

“W- Wait, Kai-san!”

“It’s okay,” Jongin assured him, patting his hand lightly (Taeyong was eying that tanned hand on top of Yuta’s and imagining setting it on fire). “I’m taking care of our bill tonight.”

“…you take care of our bill every night,” Yuta responded monotonously and Jongin grinned teasingly at him.

“You can pay me back another way.”

Yuta’s cheeks heated up and he looked down.

“So, Yuta,” Taeyong said loudly, trying to ignore the thump of his aching heart. “Where’s your child?”

“I hired a babysitter for Jaemin,” Jongin responded before Yuta could open his mouth. “Wow, Taeyong, you even know about Jaemin?! You two must really be close! How’d you two meet?”

The two of them exchanged glances, blinking slightly.

“Uh… we were in university together,” Taeyong explained. That technically wasn’t a lie, he just happened to skip over the part where the two of them were friends, got drunk one night, and realized how attracted they were to each other, which led to a five-year tryst of sex, comforting one another, holding hands and basically everything a couple would do without the label.

“Oh, cool! Well, Yuta here saved me when I was in Japan. I was totally lost and nobody could understand what I was saying. You can imagine my surprise when this beautiful man and his child approached me and started speaking to me in Korean!” Jongin said happily. “After that, I knew I had to see him again, and this became that, and now I’m courting him!”

He turned to Yuta and Taeyong felt like throwing up when he saw the warmth and affection pouring from Jongin’s eyes. Yuta smiled at his admirer, cheeks pink.

“He hasn’t said yes yet, but it’ll happen,” Jongin vowed, not taking his eyes off Yuta, who smiled again, that beautiful glowing smile that Taeyong used to proudly say was only ever directed to him.

“So…” Taeyong spoke up, trying not to stare at the two of them. “…how old is Jaemin exactly?”

“He’s-”

“-still a baby!” Yuta interrupted, laughing nervously. “He’s a child, you know.”

Taeyong’s eyes narrowed. “He seems really small for a seven-year-old.”

Jongin tilted his head. “That’s because he’s only four, not seven! He just had his birthday recently actually, I got him an Iron Man costume!”

Taeyong inwardly smiled at how easily Jongin had fallen for his trick question. Yuta looked ready to jump out the window of the restaurant, bowing his head again.

“Anyways, I’m going to the bathroom,” Jongin stood up, lightly patting Yuta’s arm. “I’ll be right back!”

He left the two of them, just as the champagne flutes came out.

“Wow,” Taeyong said in the silence. “Déjà vu, huh?”

Yuta didn’t answer.

“Five years ago, we were sitting, just the two of us, at a restaurant, just like this… and you had a _kid_ , just like now,” Taeyong snarled. Yuta looked up, eyes flashing with fire.

“Are you saying it’s _my_ fault?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

To Yuta’s stun, he realized the tremble in Taeyong’s hand and voice were not from anger; it was from _sadness_.

“Why didn’t you ever say…?” Taeyong looked away. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”

“I wasn’t at the time,” Yuta lied and Taeyong looked up, anger this time apparent in his eyes.

“Don’t lie to me,” he hissed, eyes dark and piercing straight through Yuta’s soul. “It’s August right now. Your child is four years old and Jongin-hyung said his birthday just passed. We broke up in January four and a half years ago. That means you had to have known you were pregnant at that point.”

Yuta didn’t say anything for a moment… until he laughed. A cold, mirthless laugh.

“Amazing. You have to be kidding me.”

“What are you-?”

“Broke up?” Yuta snapped, glaring at him challengingly. “I told you I _loved_ you, and you called me delusional. We weren’t even together, and when I tried, you told me we should see other people. Don’t try and make it seem like I’m the bad guy. I was ready to tell you, and you shot me down.”

“…I loved you too.”

Yuta furiously stood, tears already prickling in his eyes. “I’m leaving.”

“I’m not lying!” Taeyong raised his voice, catching Yuta’s arm as his voice cracked. “Yuta, please, let me explain, _please_ … god, this is all so fucked up.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Yuta snapped and his eyes widened when he saw Jongin emerging from the bathroom.

“Yuta, please,” Taeyong begged as Yuta struggled.

“Let go!” he hissed. “Kai-san is right over there, I don’t want him asking questions!”

Taeyong’s grip tightened, more so from hearing Yuta use a special nickname and making him feel left out, than from disobedience. “No.”

“Let go, please,” the desperate Japanese man pleaded. “Kai-san doesn’t deserve to be hurt by a mistake I made in the past.”

Taeyong thought he could actually hear his heart break, hearing Yuta call him a mistake, but shook his head. “I won’t let go unless you promise to meet up with me individually.”

“I can’t-”

“Tomorrow, four o’clock. Meet me at the Seventh Sense Café in Cheongdam-dong,” Taeyong's grip tightened. "And I'd hurry with your answer, Jongin-hyung's almost back."

“Why would I-?” Yuta cut himself off when he saw Jongin speaking with a server before heading back towards the table. “Fine, fine, I will, please let go!”

“Promise?”

“I promise, I promise-!”

Taeyong promptly released Yuta’s arm and calmly seated himself as Jongin turned around the corner and blinked.

“Yuta? Are you okay?”

“H- Huh?”

“Why are you standing?” Jongin chuckled, as he sat in his chair. “Oh, our champagne’s here!”

He picked up his glass, holding it up. “To you two meeting each other formally!”

Yuta weakly smiled and sipped his own flute, trying not to make eye contact with the dark eyes that were blazing fire into his very being.

* * *

The next day found Yuta at the front door of Seventh Sense Café, twisting his fingers in anxiety. Should he really go in?

He peered in and gulped when he saw Taeyong sitting at a table alone, sipping a small cup of what looked like espresso. The years had definitely been kind to the handsome Korean. He used to be good-looking five years ago, but wow… he looked downright ethereal at this point. Just seeing him drink coffee was like looking at a pictorial.

Yuta released a soft breath, before gathering his courage and finally entering the café, where the bells gently jingled, alerting Taeyong to Yuta’s entry. It was almost amusing to see the cold-faced Korean man sit up nervously and wipe his sweaty palms on his slacks, like a child being sent to the principal’s office.

Yuta quickly went to the counter to try and prolong speaking with Taeyong, but before he could, the barista giggled.

“Sir, your boyfriend already ordered for you.”

Yuta’s eye twitched. “…oh, did he?”

“Iced Americano, right?” she handed him the glass. “Here you are!”

He sighed, bobbing his head in thanks. “Thank you.”

Fingers clutched around the weeping glass, Yuta headed over to the coffee table, silently seating himself, until finally Taeyong spoke up.

“Thank you for meeting up with me.”

“I didn’t really have much of a choice, now did I?” Yuta muttered and Taeyong shifted uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “It… It wasn’t my intention to trap you.”

“And yet here we are,” Yuta smiled humorlessly. Taeyong shifted again.

“I… I just wanted to ask… I’m pretty sure, but… it was Okinawa, wasn’t it?”

Yuta didn’t say anything, until he finally looked up. “ _What_ was Okinawa?”

“We… We conceived Jaemin there, didn’t we?” Taeyong mumbled, looking shamed and tired. “We didn’t… We didn’t use protection that day.”

“We were stupid and high on emotions, of course we didn’t,” Yuta responded quietly and Taeyong cleared his throat.

“…where’s Jaemin right now? Is he with a babysitter again?”

“He’s over at a friend’s house,” Yuta narrowed his eyes. “Why are you so curious about my son?”

“Because you and I both know he’s my son too.”

Yuta’s eyes flashed again at Taeyong’s bold statement. “How _dare_ -?!”

“Oh come on,” Taeyong interrupted, frowning. “Don’t even try. You’re Japanese and you even chose to give him a Korean name. And Jaemin? You can’t even deny it at this point, you know I said if I ever had a child, I’d name him after either Jaehyun or Minhyung. You chose both.”

Yuta’s eye twitched. “Okay, fine. So yes, you helped create him, but what do you care? He’s my child and my child only.”

“Yukkuri,” Taeyong pleaded and Yuta froze. “Listen, okay? I understand why you hate me. I hate myself too, for what I did, but I had a… I had a reason. It’s almost ironic, really, so I’ll tell you everything. Just… Just please hear me out and let me explain.”


	2. Future

_Six years ago…_

_“Fuck!” Taeyong gasped as he downed the cheap vodka, the loud club music pounding around him. “Fuck, that’s disgusting!”_

_“What’s **wrong** with you?!” Jaehyun shook his head as he gazed at his best friend, lit up by multiple colored strobe lights. “Seriously, Taeyong-hyung, stop.”_

_“Fuck,” Taeyong repeated, slumping. “I… I love him. I love him!”_

_He held up his glass for another drink and his cousin Lee Minhyung quickly put his hand on Taeyong’s arm._

_“Hyung, stop, you’re already too drunk.”_

_“What if… What if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Taeyong whimpered, ignoring the two of them. “Guys, what if… what if he laughs at me?”_

_“Yuta-hyung wouldn’t do that,” Jaehyun argued. “You two clearly feel something for each other, it’s just that neither of you will admit it!”_

_“No,” Taeyong sobbed drunkenly, burying his face in his arms and ignoring the two of them. “You didn’t see… You didn’t see how beautiful he was. When we were in Okinawa, oh god, I realized then, I could spend the rest of my life with this man. He was too perfect, he was so beautiful, I love him, I love him so much…! And he just wants me for s- sex…!”_

_Taeyong wailed, almost like a child, as his cousin and best friend exchanged glances._

_“Hyung, come on, go home,” Minhyung encouraged. “You’re upset, you don’t want to be at a bar like this, let’s-”_

_“Hey, sexy.”_

_Minhyung and Jaehyun snapped their heads to the side to see a pretty man approach them and trace fingers over Taeyong’s slumped back._

_“Does someone need some… emotional release?” the man cooed, leaning in close to Taeyong’s ear. “I can probably help with that.”_

_“I think he’s good,” Jaehyun said firmly, but before he could continue, Taeyong drunkenly sat up and turned around, eyes unfocused._

_“…Yuta…”_

_And before they could stop him, Taeyong suddenly leaned forward and began to sloppily make out with the delighted stranger, who kissed him right back._

_“Hyung!” Minhyung yelped in disgust, but Taeyong ignored him and instead grasped the stranger’s hand, dragging him towards the bathrooms._

* * *

“You… You slept with someone else?” Yuta swallowed, before shaking his head. “Well, it’s not like we were together, we were just friends with benefits, you could… you could sleep with anyone you want.”

But Taeyong could see that it bothered Yuta, and he confessed the truth.

“…I felt like I cheated on you. The guilt was killing me, you have _no_ idea, Yuta. I knew… You’re right, I knew we weren’t technically officially together, but… I wanted to be. You remember how I acted distant up until we ended things? I… It wasn’t your fault. I felt so filthy and guilty I couldn’t bear to look you in the eye, and that’s why I kept pulling away. I wanted to be yours and so I… I decided, I would come clean, confess what I did, and then tell you how I felt. That’s why I asked… I asked you to meet me that day, at the restaurant. I swear on Minhyung’s life, I was going to confess to you that day. But then…”

* * *

_“I’m pregnant.”_

_Taeyong’s eyes could not hold more horror. “Wh- What do you **mean** you’re pregnant?”_

_“You heard me,” the stranger from the club, whose name turned out to be Junhong, tossed his head in annoyance. “You didn’t use a condom that day, did you?”_

_“I was drunk out of my mind!” Taeyong exclaimed. “Honestly, I don’t even remember us doing it! I’m just trusting my cousin and my best friend, and they said I vanished with you. How did you even find me?”_

_“After we did it, you gave me your number and I figured I could hit you up again if something like this happened,” Junhong said calmly, checking his fingernails. Taeyong narrowed his eyes; he gave this stranger his number? Somehow that didn’t seem all that correct._

_Still, he wanted to strangle him; this was quite possibly the worst thing that had ever happened to him, and the one-night stand from the club was being so casual about it._

_“How do you know it’s mine?” Taeyong tried and Junhong snorted._

_“Nice try. I didn’t have sex with anyone else during that period of time. There’s no way it’s not yours.”_

_“Look, this is really bad timing,” Taeyong said in frustration. “I’m planning to confess to someone tomorrow, and I… I don’t want him to know about this.”_

_“Is that that Yuta dude you kept crying about when we did it?” Junhong asked inquisitively and Taeyong looked away, eyes hooded in shame._

_“Well that’s fine,” Junhong shrugged. “Just give me money for an abortion and I’ll be on my way.”_

* * *

“I… I couldn’t do it,” Taeyong shook his head. “I thought… that child didn’t deserve that. That was still my child, and I… I didn’t want Junhong to think I wasn’t going to take responsibility. And I… I was too ashamed to tell you I had impregnated someone.”

Yuta remained silent, but couldn’t help the small blast of pity. Even though Taeyong had been in the wrong, it hurt him to think how anxious and stressed Taeyong must have been.

“So I… So I decided to hurt you. I figured if I was the bad guy, you could… you could move on and find someone else to be happy with.”

* * *

_“You’re so delusional.”_

_And with that, Taeyong placed several bills on the table before leaving the restaurant, leaving behind a heartbroken Yuta, who was looking down._

_After he got to his car, Taeyong buried his face in his hands and began to weep, not caring if he was too loud. He screamed and cried and let out his grief, clutching the ring he had bought when he first planned to confess to the love of his life._

_He curled up in the driver’s seat, heart aching._

**_I’m sorry, Yuta. Find happiness with a better man than me._ **

* * *

Taeyong smiled bitterly. “It turned out it was for nothing. When I told Junhong I was ready to take responsibility, he admitted that he lied about being pregnant. He noticed that I wasn’t used to the club scene, and figured I had money. He… He thought I would just give him money for an abortion, so he was going to just keep it and run. He didn’t think I would actually try to take responsibility.”

Yuta swallowed and turned away. “Why didn’t… Why didn’t you just tell me after then?”

“I was… I was ashamed, Yuta,” Taeyong’s voice trembled. “I knew I hurt you, and I actually… I actually did try. But… you had changed your number. I went to your apartment and your neighbors told me you had already moved out. I hired a private investigator and he confirmed that you had gone back to Japan.”

Yuta gaped. “That’s how you knew…?!”

“What he didn’t tell me was that… you had my child.”

Taeyong’s voice was full of wonder and Yuta bit his lower lip.

“My… child. Yuta…” Taeyong’s voice was thick with emotion and disbelief. “We… We made a baby together. You had my child.”

“Of course I did. Even though I thought you didn’t want me, I…” Yuta lifted his chin, eyes hard and proud. “I still loved you. I loved you with all of me, and so I decided to have our child.”

Taeyong really couldn’t hold back the tears this time and had to bow his head to hide that he was wiping his eyes.

“I understand, Taeyong,” Yuta’s voice was soft, unlike earlier when he had been guarded and cold. “I really do. But… you have to understand, I was pregnant and alone and so scared. I had to go back to Japan because nobody else I knew would help me. I went back to my family and then I met… I met Kai-san.”

“Why do you call him that?” Taeyong finally asked, trying not to sound too obviously jealous. “Is that some sort of pet name for him?”

“…he chose that name,” Yuta blinked. “Jongin is too hard for most Japanese people to pronounce, so he was going by Kai in Japan.”

“…oh,” Taeyong said dumbly as Yuta continued.

“I… I can’t blame you. But at the end of the day, Kai-san doesn’t deserve to have my feelings wander just because you’ve told me the truth five years too late.”

“I love you, Yuta,” Taeyong said straightforwardly. “I love you and I already know, you still love me too.”

Yuta frowned. “Did you listen to anything I just said?”

“Yes I did,” Taeyong said defiantly. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been thinking of you for the past five years. I…”

He hesitated, before reaching into his pocket and Yuta gaped at the dark ring case. “…this is…?”

“It’s the ring I was going to give to you that night,” Taeyong confessed, opening it to reveal a simple black band, gleaming in the light. Yuta’s eyes were round as he gaped at the clearly expensive ring.

“Wha…?”

“Come back to me,” Taeyong begged, voice cracking again. “Please, Yukkuri. I feel like I haven’t really been alive for the past five years. I’ll take good care of Jaemin. He… He’s technically the heir to NCT Corporation. He needs to know. I-”

“Taeyong,” Yuta cut him off, eyes sad, and Taeyong promptly shut up, as Yuta hesitated.

“…I don’t know if I… I want Jaemin to be exposed to that sort of lifestyle,” Yuta said hesitantly. Taeyong opened his mouth to protest, but Yuta held up a hand.

“No… I lied. I realize there’s no point in lying anymore, because that’s what led to this whole mess in the first place. I… I can’t get my heart broken again. I understand why you thought you had to do what you had to do, but I… I don’t want to fall again and find out the hard way that you won’t catch me. Let me… Let me be selfish for once, Taeyong. Please.”

“But I can’t make it without you,” Taeyong whimpered, not caring how stupid or desperate he looked. He hadn’t lied when he said he hadn’t really felt alive for the past few years. He hadn’t realized how much his life had depended on Yuta, how he had let go of the other half of himself.

He needed Nakamoto Yuta, to the point where he knew that without him, he wouldn’t be able to go on.

“I can’t do this,” Yuta shook his head, numbing Taeyong’s heart and shutting down his thoughts. “Please, Taeyong. Stop.”

And with that, Taeyong watched as this time, the person he needed more than anyone else in his life walked out, just as he did, long ago.

**Epilogue:**

_One year later…_

Yuta waited outside the school, until he broke out into a smile upon seeing his beautiful child.

“Papa!” Jaemin cheered, toddling towards his father. Yuta easily lifted the tiny boy into the air, as the small child threw his head back and giggled excitedly.

“Let’s go home, Jaemin-ah!” Yuta sang, nuzzling his son’s soft skin, a firm arm holding his baby close to himself. Jaemin mindlessly poked his father’s cheek as Yuta walked the two of them home.

“Papa, how come Jongin-ahjusshi doesn’t come around anymore?” Jaemin asked curiously and Yuta smiled, somewhat sadly, as he thought back to a tearful rejection and Jongin halfheartedly coming to tell him about his new fiancée.

“Jongin-ahjusshi’s getting married, baby, remember?” he hoisted Jaemin up. “He’s very busy.”

“Oh,” Jaemin poked his father’s cheek some more, liking the feel of the smooth skin. “Papa?”

“Hm?”

“…I want fried chicken.”

“Okay, Jaemin. We-”

Yuta blinked when he got to their apartment and Jaemin squealed.

“It’s the monthly Santa!”

Yuta inwardly sighed. “Yay…”

Once a month, they found themselves with a gift waiting for them at the front door. Yuta used to think it was Jongin who was sending them but after confronting him and even borderline fighting about it, Jongin swore it was not him who was leaving the various gifts. That, of course, only left one person.

The gifts, strangely but kindly enough, were sensible items, such as clothes and books for Jaemin, while there were bills left with a notification that they had already been paid for. Whenever those were handled, there was also the occasional bouquet or tea gift set.

Yuta even discovered, last time he tried to pay rent, that the landlord had been paid for up to a year’s worth of living costs. As they were essentially living there for free, Yuta found himself able to splurge more on Jaemin, a luxury he really hadn’t had back when Jaemin was younger.

“Papa, look!” Jaemin cheered, holding up the brand new pair of tennis shoes. “Monthly Santa gave me shoes!”

“Wow, they’re so cool, Jaemin-ah!” Yuta unlocked the door. “Let’s try them on you and then we’ll go get your fried chicken, okay?”

* * *

Yuta wasn’t dumb; he knew who the gifts were from.

The problem was, he wasn’t sure how to respond to them. But what he knew… was that Jaemin was happy.

His son loved this monthly Santa, loved the feeling of being doted on. And Yuta couldn’t bear to tear that happiness away from him.

He hesitated when one month, when he opened the door, he found a tiny box, the smallest out of all of the gifts they had received. With a pounding heart, Yuta opened the box.

In his trembling fingers was the dark ring box he had seen so long ago and he slowly opened the small jewelry box to see the ring he could never forget about.

He hesitated, knowing what Taeyong was asking, and knew what his answer was. He slowly took the ring out… and slid it onto his finger, a hopeful smile on his face.

“Papa!”

Yuta turned to see Jaemin happily holding up a drawing. “Look, I drew you!”

“Coming, Jaemin-ah!” Yuta headed inside, not noticing someone watching him from below his balcony, a similar hopeful smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that's it for me, I'm too exhausted, both mentally and physically (I'm working six days again thsi week ughhh).
> 
> See you all at the next fic!


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